Vernal Autumn Finale

Source: Vernal Autumn Finale

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Posted by on March 10, 2017 in Uncategorized


Plus and Minus

A thousand times I’ve said before

Another thousand writ–and more:

Je t’aime plus qu’hier, moins que demain

To you my favorite, dearest man

I shall always love you ‘more than yesterday,less than tomorrow’

It has been my joy, but remains my perpetual sorrow

Waiting to hear your voice in the world past pain

I’ve sensed you here, know we shall meet again.

Watching when I, time traveler, advance to the when

Forgotten are coordinates of now with then

My heart aches so for those gone  a-widowing:

One’s aunt’s husband, dear uncle, to heaven I’d sing

He, post-polio bellwether, like an older brother

I, their first “kid” 12 years till she became mother

Life and death in a helix swirl

Now I am no one’s ‘girl’

(Though they would all deny it)

Wear my solitary shoes: go on, try it!

Rarely so lonely: would that still be true

If I’d missed all those years, never been so loved by you

Loco love I had/have with  you.

               +  &  –

Jenison January 17, 2017


Posted by on January 18, 2017 in dreams, transitions



How long will this pain stay with me

How often return to unsettle me

O, to know

There comes more snow

Making ambulation scary

Every step I take outdoors:wary,very

Some say that hell is fire

Purgatory snow should soon expire

Permutations we call winter weather here.


To relocate in south or west is my wish dear

Though even plane flights are hard to bare

Although destinations, lives I wish to share

It is an awesome leap to leave the net

What use to remain? Untried the bet?


For now I’ll  layer like an enchilada in wraps

Then to the mailbox, avoiding slippery traps.

Walking necessary for what ails me

Each step praying no limb fails me.


Cry, body, never

Seek sun’s warmth ever

Try till pains leave~~ forever.

                 Jenison MI  *Midwinter* 01/09/2017

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Posted by on January 9, 2017 in Nature, transitions



The magi came, brought symbolic gifts, then fled
By the light of the same star that earlier led.
We heard of them, much about constant or guiding stars
Then baskets were passed so we could choose ours:
Each with a word to ponder today or all year.
When they reached me, I shrank back in fear

There, right side up, a huge one read “harmony”
‘O, please don’t let this be the star for me’
I quickly thought as I scanned the facedown others
Knowing it was mine, even as my heart felt smothered:
Events of past week, the sign no more Haarman y Hill
Remembered, but focused, grabbed it through force of will

It’s quits, but this Epiphany day you must know
I’m cherishing good days we had, all others I’ll let go:
Harmony is crucial facing surgery, I maintain,
It is what I wish you tomorrow, and thereafter to counteract pain.
May you be healed throughout efforts, and also with prayer
Of all beloveds near to you now, returning your care.

January 8,2017

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Posted by on January 9, 2017 in Uncategorized


Madly Resisting

The bull pulled by his nose ring

enters the chute heavy with scents of fear

screaming erupts from the stands flummoxing him

to a point of paralysis, barely able to move forward ,

Unable to retreat. Aha! Escape through an opening gate!

prodded forward he emerges to total chaotic cacophony but

for the man twirling as a ballet dancer, cape aswirl in the

spacious ring as picadors emerge from their hiding spots to

force the bull closer to the gyrating gent

Mindful of their many practiced feints, he moves quickly to

avoid their speedy sharp thrusts


Finishing his pirouettes

el matador advances eye-to-eye now while

picadors retreat behind their fenced screens

When the cape flashes red

bull paws briefly, charges ahead~~

there can be no return to the closed chute;

training, fear, outrage merge, then

audience is upstanding, gyrating for the

blood sport they came to see:

advance/ retreat both man and beast

fencing flamenco partner the weighty beast to

His biped antagonist now brandishing his un- caped sword

Stomps, snarls, snorts the bull, charging as sword zeroes toward him

Ole!! Matador  slices deep and well, blood flows from the startled beast

Que? Bull retreats, then, seduced, sashays then gallops to return the insult, thus

furthering well-placed thrusts which collapse him awkwardlykneels,

front legs askew; labors to unstably turn aside to rise while distant

crazed cheers thunder;  el matador curls cape as magician would, but

does not magically disappear, no, his coup de grace 

ends swiftly the torment. Then, with choreography of

ears removed, proudly, it would seem, he circles to display to all but

One pair of lifeless glassy eyes which lately dark with menace glowed

Within the hour el matador swings onto his home’s road

1-3-2016    downstate


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Posted by on January 5, 2017 in Nature, transitions


Left at the Turn

off we race 5 miles on icy snowpack to a

near collision with propane truck–potentially

tripling deaths en route to sister’s funeral,

not a word spoken of speed. Driver risked his own life through

miraculous control, drove  into ditch to prevent

collision incineration:

mirabile visu did not overturn full payload —

only topped-off tanks

entered our lakeside road in winter


A. drove greatly exceeding its low summer speed, then

hit black ice on the 90-degree road-turn

Mention surprise to his OCD perfection~never!

We voyaged in near-silence four hours. Though

my shock abated, it never left me.





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Posted by on January 4, 2017 in Uncategorized


Room to Mourn

O, God, Jesus!

it wasn’t only him

seeing rain from the window

Triggered tears for more than Jim

I may have been resilient,

Inured to physical pain

Now I have to leave anew

Evermore, far from family again

Struck! I do not do this well

No one around me knows

Piercing  lightning hits my heart as

Too-short visit comes to a close.

Pray, keep me from sarcasm

When proffering goodbyes

Heard as stronger abrasions

I rarely do disguise

Even from myself, retro-glancing

I sadly realize

How  lancing

My words have been: not a way to part.

Past 70, I must hurry to learn

To show, to share my heart

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Posted by on December 31, 2016 in transitions